15 hours ago
Tell The Truth Tuesday’s! ———————————————————
If old Ajai & I could square up 💢👊🏽💢, I would tell sis to shoot me the fade! (In non-ratchet terms, inquiring if sis would like to participate in a physical altercation to solve an issue 🤷🏽♀️) . I’m having to mend stuff that she broke , repair things that she damaged & heal wounds that this Ajai would’ve never allowed.
At the end of the day THAT ^ mentality was what caused my old self to feel like she had to make the decisions she made. She was young, she was misguided, vulnerable, alone & believed external validation would fix an internal dysfunction. I used to attack my old self like she was never apart of me. I degraded, diminished & disregarded her any chance I got until I had to remember to not forget where I came from. 25 Ajai is standing on the strong shoulders that 20 Ajai was working so hard to cultivate. 20 Ajai was the living confidence 15 Ajai didn’t DARE to have. ——————————————————-
To 10 year old Ajai that stopped seeking laughter in a world full of clenched cheeks & forced smiles, I forgive you. To 15 year old Ajai that felt it important to sacrifice her persona & dignity to gain peer status/influence , I forgive you. To 20 year old Ajai that thought carrying everyone to the finish line & leaving her inner self in the dust was the best decision because it gave “purpose”, I forgive you. To 24 year old Ajai that still has a distaste for 25 Ajai because of what she felt like she took from her .. I’m working on that forgiveness. You didn’t know. You needed help. I understand now. ———————————————
It’s Tell The Truth Tuesday. What truth do you have to share? What “I forgive you” do you need to express to your old self? Rather than dismiss him/her, express love because that is where your healing & rebuilt connection will begin.